Friday Poetry Share

I drift, I count the dents

In space that you make

I wake up and wonder

If I have what is takes.

I used to have fire

Now I wonder

About desire.

If you are the man

Then what is the plan,

I spend all my days

Trying to understand.

I want love,

But you give me 

War.

Red eyes from all 

The lies,

I say I can’t,

When I can.

It’s an alcohol trash can

Next to me, it’s a deflated

Gravity, it’s an electric city.

If its really this place,

Its getting to me. 

All those dreams

Never came true.

I sleep but I lost

The peace.

Going down has

Been going around

And if you are real,

Then burn all the 

Lies down.

We are to hectic

To be electric,

Yet you are the 

Light we long for.

I am awake,

And I don’t

Have what it takes.

Fridays

Can’t change the thoughts 

I think,

This heart is about to sink.

Nothing out here is 

Clear,

Every choice has a 

Little fear.

It’s Friday and 

You are far away.

If you were here,

Would you stay?

Counting down

The days til

You get to 

Moving on,

If this was a

Song,

It wouldn’t

Last long.

To follow you,

Is a follow 

Through.

I don’t have

The strength

To die for you.

It’s Friday and

I am the same.

To good at 

Shifting the 

Blame,

Even when you

Call my name,

I can’t admit

I am tame.

This is the land

Where nothing

Stays the same.

We know its Friday

And if we knew 

You, 

We wouldn’t 

Stay the same.

If you were here,

Everything would

Change.

Call You Later

Got a part of me 

That can’t see all

Those good things

In store for me.

Call you later

When I am better. 

Are you sure of me,

Cause I look and 

Look but I don’t see.

Is it your medicine, 

Or just me,

I am to good at 

Showing up,

But what about

Growing up?

You keep calling

When the sun goes 

Down and I am not 

About to spend

All my light on you.

Call you when

I am fit and

I can’t look back,

Cause if it goes

All night long,

I’ll be in the 

Wrong.

Got to many parts

Of me that don’t 

Want to leave,

I am looking but

I don’t believe.

This is the land

Of the average

Man, and I’ve 

Been out here

Asking for a 

Plan.

Is this still love

If you still leave,

You are still a God

That we don’t see.

Call you more

When I stop

Being numb,

And I am ready 

For surrender

To come.

Falling

Falling asleep

To falling in my 

Dreams.

Waking up

Without sympathy

Cause you got 

A hold of me,

Nothing’s left

But some of 

That mercy.

It’s raining out

But this heart is

A drought and

No one knows

What this heart

Is about.

Counting loose change

in the rain, 

Asking for time

Instead of pain.

Waking up to what you

Call conspiracy,

This is the land

Without a plan

And I am just

Another average

Man.

If you are real then

I’ll be real,

Time can’t 

Stand still,

Are you here?

Do you still heal?

Falling asleep

With the same old 

Dreams,

Where’s the change

You taught,

Will we die, 

Or not lie,

Or do we bury

Ourselves instead?

Do we ask or knock,

Cause no one believes

You are alive and
I don’t know why

I survived.

Waking up to

Walking on the streets,

In the ground and
On the earth feels

Right, 

I should have stayed

With you all night.

Falling asleep to 

The sound of

Being your friend,

And choosing life

Again.

Mirror

When I look in the 

Mirror,

All I see is fear.

Wishing it was

Different.

You’ve been 

Gone,

And you never

Said how long.

Falling asleep

To the sound

Of your voice,

Am I a slave,

Or do I have a 

Choice?

Where did you go

When I never did

Slow,

Are you alone,

Or do I not want to know?

Seasons change,

But you stay the same,

Wish I was better,

But that’s the future.

Everyone wants you

Around, but I can 

Barely touch the

Ground,

Love is the sound,

But you’re not 

Around.

Looking in the
Mirror,

This land is

Cursed,

Nothing is fair,

And it’s not clear

Am I the same,

Or can you make

A change? 

Is fear on the shelf,

Or is that for someone

Else? 

Your body was plain,

And it was pain.

I asked for more,

You gave me war.

I am not the man I 

Want to be,

I have empathy

For the person 

I don’t see.

Don’t stay in the air,

Where we can’t

Meet you here.

The Air

Trying to get it right

Late at night,

When you’re

Gone it all 

Goes wrong,

You got the

Cure but no 

One here is

Sure.

I feel it here,

Days until 

You disappear.

Is it the medicine

Or the thoughts

I think,

It’s the heart,

And its about

To sink.

You threw those

Words around,

No one knew

You stayed 

Close to the

Ground,

When I am gone,

Do you want me

Around?

You know its

Over but you 

Still want me

To come over.

Nothing I do 

Lasts,

And that sadness

I can’t get past.

Souls are coming

Around,

But few are

Really found,

Should have gave

You everything

When I was young.

Stayed up late,

Praying against

Hate but love

Wasn’t around,

Cause you left,

And there wasn’t

Anything left.

Are you up in the sky,

Or in the air,

Are you good,

Or is this just

Despair.

I needed a Father,

Now I worry 

About the future.

Nothing is right

Late at night,

No more departures

Or red eyed flights,

Or bags packed

Like there’s no 

One to love.

Nothing is true

About you

In the air,

You’re King,

And I need

You here.

Late Nights

Its a late night

And another

Fight,

All those years

Catching the 

Next flight,

I don’t hear 

From you,

Where is 

Here to you.

I don’t run,

I walk,

You’ve been

Gone,

And its 

Lasting long.

You want to fall

But not to hard,

You want to talk

But barely at all.

Saw you since a kid,

Reading and rehearsing

All the words in red.

Had some faithful days of

Showing up,

No one talked

About growing up.

It’s another late night

Of not getting it right.

Noise and colors on

Screens,

Am I a blind man,

Forgot about the

Unseen,

Do you still move,

Cause I want to 

Move,

Are things looking up,

Or when will I grow up?

Late nights,

Past flights,

Wings and

Wind and we 

All want you to

Change things

Again.

I started but I

Am not sure

How its gonna

End.

Surrender

Forgetting to remember 

How to surrender,

Counting til November 

When life is older,

Wanna go further 

But I can’t stay sober.

Falling asleep to 

Falling in my dreams.

Trying to find you in the 

Wind, 

Forgot what its like

To win.

Everything keeps blowing

As everyone keeps going,

Can’t let anyone know,

That you want to be

Known.

Older but still afraid.

This bed is never made,

Lost in the shade,

Underneath your 

Wrath,

Can’t get past the
Past.

Bloodstains close

To the floor,

Notes about

Departure 

Close to the 

Door.

I’ve gotten you

All wrong,

No one here

Wants to

Last long.

You had nothing to offer

But money to offer 

As an offering,

We always showed

Up but we never

Learned how to 

Grow up.

The pulpit is the culprit

And anything you say

Goes.

You wanna know what my 

Heart is about,

But inside it is a 

Drought.

I am listless over

Making lists

About the changes

You never made.

I used to have fire 

Way back then,

Now we keep going 

Back to those days 

Called then,

You don’t want

Those good times 

To end but

All your friends

Have friends

And being alone

Never ends.

I can’t let it go 

All those things you 

Did in the snow.

Love wasn’t felt,

The water would 

Melt,

Is your name a

River,

Cause you are the 

Giver,

And no one here

Knows Your 

Future.

Calling it out,

All the times

We doubt,

Heart is a little

Broken,

And that is

Certain.

Used to have fire,

Now we get coffee

And talk about

Desire.

You moved away,

But you never

Got away from

All the thoughts

I think about you,

We let you stay 

Around for free,

But your anger

Was a tragedy.

Still talking like a kid,

All those things you 

Said but never did.

Still losing the thrills

Cause I keep taking

Your pills,

Will try to remember

What it will be like

To surrender,

This land is your 

Land.

I know about love

But I forget about
Mercy.

If I forget the past,

I trust You will 

Make this life last.

Episode #141( Book Club BROTHERS VIDEO PODCAST)

I got to do a in person podcast with my Sunday morning book club brothers and it was so fun!

Notes from my podpage: ( https://www.podpage.com/jared-diehl-the-louder-now-podcast/louder-now-episode-141-our-spiritual-journey-with-the-book-club-brothers-samuel-jacob-and-stephen/)

Episode #141:

This was a special episode. Got to record this in person in mid December with my book club brothers Jacob, Samuel and Stephen. This past fall of 2022 we all read The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr together. Since then we have stayed and touch and have been developing a brotherhood together.

We go on a journey and talk faith, growing up and reflections on our faith in God. This was a special night of recording and talking and I am so honored to have these brothers in my life and I am excited for the future. I hope you enjoy our talk.

BIO of Jacob:

Jacob Swodeck is a husband, dad, veteran real estate guy, Clippers fan and a learner of all things true. 

Follow Jacob on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jacobswodeck/

BIO of Stephen:

Stephen F. Pflücker is a Faith Driven Entrepreneur, comes from the Business Banking world where he has more then 10 years of experience. He grew up as a pastors kid and was heavily involved in the ministry till He left not only His family but also the Things of God. It has been about a year that God got ahold of him. He has chosen to have God at the center of all His relationships and is in the business of Empowering others and growing Gods kingdom for the glory of God. 

https://www.instagram.com/stephenfaustopflucker/

BIO of Samuel:

Samuel is a thrilled Father of two sons. And brother to Stephen. I love Yeshua and my Father.

I manage short term rentals via Airbnb and am currently studying Hebrew. I have a BA in Theology. Professional table tennis player. Part of an awesome book club.Aspiring chef of Peruvian cuisine.

Follow him on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/samojoseph/

End of Show Notes:

Please email jared.diehl@gmail.com if you would like to be a guest on the podcast.

Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jared-diehl-the-louder-now-podcast/id1454818946

Follow me on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/jareddiehl8/

*** call 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. 

TO CALL THE HOTLINE: 

800-273-8255

Dry Land

Don’t pretend like you know

What this heart is about,

Inside it’s a drought,

It’s still raining out,

Time is moving 

Along,

Inside it’s all

Gone wrong.

Falling asleep to 

Falling and

In my dreams

I find some relief.

Spending my days

Driving in a haze,

Working to make

The money,

But inside of me

Is poverty.

Still talking about being a kid,

Like all those times you didn’t

Do those things you said

And you pressed down

On me instead,

You didn’t have anything 

Special to offer me,

We just took that 

Money for the 

Offering,

We did the 

Sunday show up,

But inside we

Didn’t grow 

Up.

Can’t walk it back,

All those nights of

Talking back to

You, you still 

Call like nothing

Has changed,

And we are all

The same.

Everyone around here

Keeps talking about love,

But no one mentions

Mercy,

I can’t follow You until

I am thirsty.

I used to have some fire,
Now all we do is

Talk about desire,

And can you do

That rewire thing

To my brain.

I am falling down,

And its going around,

Some lost don’t
Want to be found,

And your voice is 

Here while you

Aren’t around.

Outside has some 

Color,

But try to understand,

Inside of me is 

A dry land.

I used to have some

Hunger,

Now we keep talking

About how it’s over,

And I am going over

All the things I never

Knew how to say to you,

I think it’s to late

To start this again.

I think I stopped on

That step about

Making amends.

I want to be a grown up,

But how do you make

The past burn up?

Who out here has the 

Plan for how to be a man? 

Don’t pretend like you

Know the rain,

Inside the tales 

Are all the same,

Try to understand,

This heart is a

Dry land.